I've lots to tell you, but I came home from Dunedin with a mild cold, and though I took it easy for the last two days, it's gotten progressively worse. This morning I woke up to a massive headache, with Beloved singing "Happy Birthday" repeatedly, somewhere in the depth of this fog. My eyes are blurry, my ears are ringing, and there doesn't seem to be enough oxygen going into my system. Good grief.
As of sometime later today, I will have been traipsing on this planet for 50 years. (Well, the first couple I might have been carried.) And I've been preparing for this for nearly a year. I'm grateful and relieved I discovered weaving before today, though I wish I'd discovered it earlier so I had time to get out of the murky, desperately passionate amateur stage by now. Or at least I had known a quicker way to progress and improve. On the other hand, I've got to tell you, I've been enjoying the ride, when it was smooth and when it was rough, and the fatalist in me thinks I'm exactly where I'm meant to be today.
Japanese culture places a lot of steps and requirements in aging. By the time you're 30, you should be responsible for your face, meaning you should show age-appropriate wisdom and knowledge. In your 40's, you're supposed to do something big, and in the old days for women, this meant making sure your kids grew up to be descent future citizens with all limbs in tact.
I don't remember Mom or my aunts saying anything about the 50's; they themselves weren't 50 yet, and I never contemplated I, too, could one day be 50. But 50 is also an age when one's supposed to be all grown up and know right from wrong and what duties need doing. Maybe even for a Japanese woman, it's that golden time when we're left alone, because all too soon, we'll be told to "obey our children".
Though it's just another day, a boring old Thursday, I had a few small fun idea, at this rate, it's looking like two aspirins, a tall glass of water, and reading in bed, which isn't bad because I love that very last one. And my parents are 77 and 80 and still living a fairly normal life; amen to that!!