Monday, September 28, 2009

Philosophical

Yesterday, a journo who writes for fancy magazines rang and complimented my weaving and tried to suss out if I would make an interesting story. I sounded unenthusiastic and dull so she asked me to recommend other Nelson artists instead. I was listening to my own voice as if it was someone else talking.

While driving back from the Frizzell exhibition, Rose asked me what my next big project is, and I didn't have an answer. She asked if I still felt passionate about weaving as I always did, and my answer as, "yes and no", and I made a joke about the amount of stash I have now allowing me to quit so easily.

It's almost October and my preposterously creative 2009 is heading towards the final stretch, and I'm not sure where I'm going, where I am, or where I've been all year.

When I was a child, I imagined getting older to mean being physically less agile, but intellectually superior and emotionally settled, the latter two more than making up for the first. I wasn't counting on having a mental illness (that sounds so serious!) and not being able to be productive. I've coped the best I could, and there's no use crying over unraveling threads; I try to be philosophical and stay positive.

And things aren't so bad. I'm finally sick and tired of the stash problem and am tackling it; for the first time I felt like checking out the 2009 courses via the UK Online Guild (but couldn't remember the url and had to ask Dot!); the client who wanted a baby blanket around February/March still wants it, and has put in a tentative order for the next, fourth commission; and I'm thinking about another warp of my gold, Rococo scarves, this time around 10 inches wide.

I'm ordering 1600 more heddles, some very fine merino, and though I struggle, I'm learning lots from Ali's mentoring. I really enjoy my figure/life drawing class; 6 terms ago when I signed up, I had hoped to learn to draw fine, accurate drawings, but my focus has changed and I'm into spontaneous, emotional gesture drawings. (Yeah, me, spontaneous!) And Textile Lunches have become a regular thing for all of us.

I'm still here, with all the yarns and equipment and books, and all the plans and To Do lists, and a husband with a day job who thinks my weaving is nice. And a dad who turned 82 today, who started to think this past January that I wasn't a lost cause after all.

So I go on, counting my blessings, and the recounting the warps over and over again as my thoughts drift from this project to that.

Thank you, friends.

2 comments:

  1. Wow! Good for you. Life is really beautiful when you break it down to the important things that are happening to you. (happy birthday Daddy Meg)

    If you ever want to do a yarn swap, or want any kind of yarn, I may have it. I have heaps going on in my stash thats not going on!!

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  2. I love it. Heaps going on in your stash that's not going on!! You made my day, and it isn't even 9AM yet! Thanks, Shirley.

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