A Day in the Lifie of a Weaver Trying to Color Inside the Lines

Which she never could, so she gave up coloring. True story.

We had a good meeting yesterday and I was able to see Sam's paintings. She does wonderful Impressionistic things with colors, and has lots of gentle curves. Annabelle uses a wide variety of marks to create moods. I'm more free-spirited in class, but for this exhibition I seem to be going for twee decorations. And the process I've concocted for this lot is a little convoluted so the liveliness of quick gesture drawings are lost.

Like this one. I don't mind the blocky original turning into a curvy, feminine form, and a little "type". And as a keen amateur, I'm satisfied up to the point I add highlights and shadows, but when it comes to coloring in the shapes, I can never get the kind of results I'm after because I don't know what that is. But watercolor paint is difficult and for e.g. the above version has too much blooming. And then there's the cutting into strips to best accentuate the gesture. 

This "shape" was an interesting exercise; I couldn't place/identify all the body parts in the original drawing, so I took a slightly Cubist perspective and connected shapes disregarding accuracy: the angle of the buttocks isn't consistent with the line of the back, and I exaggerated the twist of the neck/head; the left breast doesn't exist, and the line below the left arm is neither the stomach nor the top of the right leg; most hilariously, the left wrist connects to the right elbow, creating a loop of sorts.

I gave this a working title of "Double Take". I keep thinking of adding a clever description that defines these are not watercolor work, but shapes colored in using watercolor paints, because watercolor is a media requiring knowledge, skill and practice I don't have. And then I want to stop worrying about conventional perception and just have fun. 

The next drawing on the window has many interesting areas but I couldn't figure out the pose even after trying to imitate it. Tonight Ben showed me what goes where, so I have a better understanding of the drawing, but with my bung hip, I still couldn't do it. I also started playing around with my "I Hate Getting Old" idea. 

My buddy Simon has to go back to the library tomorrow. Luckily, I found an interview at the end where he describes magical moments in the making of the series; a great treat. I also worked on some postcards; I have so many in progress now! 

These are a fortnight-old and have mostly been delivered to their destinations. I think my favorite color this season is orange. Of all kinds.

These Days

I've been good. I've done next to nothing other than work towards the exhibition, but my progress has been slow.

Though I'm not sure of my views on posting pics of work before the exhibition opens, most exhibitions I'm involved in takes place in Nelson, and most of you are not in Nelson, so I figured a sneak peek of bad pics won't do harm.

The postcard series was finished tonight. I am pleased with these, though there were dinks and nicks on the frame I hadn't noticed until recently.

I managed two woven pieces but I don't know how I feel about them. I hope to do three or four more and then choose the best three or four. These two are temporarily/loose fitted into the frame just to see what they are like. On a good day, I can do one of these; sometimes they take two or three days. There is one other work I'd really like to do, on the "I hate Getting Old" theme; I'm not sure if I'll get there, but if I can, it'll be such a "typically me" work we can laugh out loud together. Promise.

I miss weaving on days when ideas don't flow, but when I know what I want to do I can concentrate, even enjoy. Watercolor is still a bad, most difficult medium, but still I think I am making baby-steps progress.

Dear Simon has been keeping me company; I must have watched all eight episodes at least three times; Van Gogh, David and Rothko many more. I also found the Bernini episode interesting; while Mr Schama extols the artistic merit of Bernini, I prefer Boromini's aesthetics.

When drawing/painting wasn't going well, I was also feeling terribly defeated by our moderately bad health, a string of perceived bad luck, and NZ politics. But a new exercise, where Ben pull my right leg five times every night, has worked and yesterday I climbed up the stairs without stopping and resting for the first time in ages; today, I walked normally for most of the time we were in town, getting more paper.

Tomorrow Sam. Annabelle and I meet to iron out more admin stuff. From Monday to Thursday I work on the woven pictures. On Friday we get interviewed and photographed by the local newspaper arts editor.

Saturday and Sunday, our friend and his friend visit Nelson. His scarf will have to wait until the Northern winter, but like some of you, we've known him since we started the Nelson photo blog nearly eight years ago. And we are thrilled. We foraged for tiny New Zealand- and Nelson-made pressies so I can put together a tiny welcome basket. Ben and I are making a list of things to do in town on Saturday, in the wider region on Sunday, and another of good cafes and things to cook, so we can play it by ear on the weekend.

I am keeping my fingers crossed Monday - Saturday next week will be drawing/painting only. Then on Sunday two weeks from tomorrow, we hang the exhibition.

Yikes.

But I am working so far in advance of my due dates I have really surprised myself.

And you'd be pleased to know my biga has matured and behaves totally predictably as long as I feed it regular flour, but I can also manage wholemeal, too. The breads are still hit and miss, but some have come out great; two loaves went into the wood burner to keep me warm. 

Finally Some Output

It's been a while since I last felt productive. I haven't sat at my loom for a while and for weeks/months I stared/glared at blank paper in vein.

In class I get physically involved with my media and process; I use fingers/palms/elbows; I pace/sway/flail; sometimes imitate the pose; and I caress the surface of the paper before drawing, and if I like what's developing, then while I draw as well. That's a big part of the fun in class, which I hadn't felt at home, and I knew I needed to bypass my brain and work directly.

Tuesday morning, I thought of applying watercolor from tubes with my fingers. Finally, something! I copied big gesture drawings on my windows on postcards; there were a few drawings I kept returning to, not all were ones I liked previously, and I enjoyed seeing new things in old drawings. Artistic merit notwithstanding, these little drawings convey my enjoyment of gesture drawings so they represent me well.

I have two frames that take four pieces, and I want four different poses in each frames. The problem is I have one piece I liked in the yellow, two in the light green, four in the brown/orange, and two and a half in the bottom green. (It looks blue but it's a dark blue/gray green.) I used up all the cards so I can't make any more. And in order to create attractive series, I may have to leave out my favorite pieces.

I wanted to add some details with watercolor pencils, but Ben was adamant simpler was better, and knowing my tendencies to fiddle too much in editing, so I decided he was right.

It was a lovely afternoon, a frenzy of trying to see/remember models in these poses. I have to finalize the sets, seal, sign, and frame them properly; tasks far less attractive than making the cards, but I've  at least two things to go on the gallery wall.  

Today I did a bunch of admin stuff, spoke to the gallery several times and shot off gazillion emails because I can never get everything done in one smart go, not even in two; spoke to Annabelle; chose three pieces for which I'll have mats cut out, and cleaned, sealed and signed them. (That's the pile with the yellow tissue paper.) And changed the drawings on my windows. 

Next stop, the woven ones. And finalizing the postcards. And cleaning more casual pieces, sealing and signing them. And meeting with Sam and Annabelle to cross out more admin stuff. And, golly, discuss pricing.

* * * * *

I went back to the physiotherapist yesterday; not having great luck so she changed my routines. But I found Simon Schama's Power of Art DVDs at Ben's work, so that's what's been on all day.  

Drawing a Blank

Really. All I need is a couple/few motifs to base my ideas on, but nada. For, like, several weeks. Yikes. Lucky tonight is a warm night so we don't have to close the curtains.

Lucky others are progressing nicely. 

We hang in 27 days. and the gallery wants wintery pieces, too; that's woven pieces! 

Conundra

I've been consumed with thoughts of our drawing exhibition; we hang in five weeks minus one day.

I stopped looking for figure drawings on the Internet to admire or styles/techniques to emulate; instead I've tried to practice or at least hold implements and press them against paper, but I've had a block like I've never had with weaving or writing. Talk about staring at the blank sheet; I know I procrastinated enough to tire of procrastination, but I now know I've never had a real block before. I have no idea what I want to see, and not even the fun techniques I learned in Ronette's class aren't helping.

In the first instance, I hadn't thought about drawing in my life and I don't know what it means or where it stands, except I enjoy it in class even when I struggle. I have nothing to prove, no style/method, which should mean I've a childlike freedom/permission to just "go for it" but this isn't helping. A somewhat more practical issue is quick gesture drawings still being my favorite, I feel obliged to make more polished/worked work if folks are kind enough to make their way to a gallery, and I haven't figured out how to rework gesture drawings. It sounds so contradictory. Plus, I'm using A2, which is half the size of A1, my favorite, and when it comes to gesture drawing, the movements of my arms and the whole body influence the fluidity of the drawing, so anything on A2 feels contrived.

I found a few of my past favorites on the big sheets - know what I mean?

Anyhoo, never short of ideas, I'm going to try something that eliminates intention from the equation. You'll laugh when I show you these.

Sam and Annabelle have lovely and more mature (as drawers and painter) work. I have four each from them to use in the poster/publicity and some are positively swoon-worthy. I'm not competing with them, but I would still like to make some myself that I can be happy with, whatever that means. 

But I made the poster; I struggled with the line under "Go Figure"; "- An Exhibition of Human Figures" sounded like we were going to parade naked, and I couldn't use "Figure Drawing" because the Sam and Annabelle also have paintings, so I was appreciative when Annabelle whipped up the second line.

The Good, The Bad and The Weird

I went to see Jean the Physiotherapist on Monday.

The good news is, if her diagnosis is right, my right hip is not a big problem; the right pelvis is a little out of place. I didn't know I could do such a thing. Jean gave me two simple exercises to do twice daily, and wants me to come back in two weeks if there is no progress; about a month if I feel better.

The bad news are: 1) because of the exercises, I'm having aches and funny popping noises all over again; 2) I've got to throw away my favoritest, comfortablest pair of shoes because the sides are so soft I'm not walking on the sole but on the side with my right foot, and 3) I'm good to weave, but have to relearn how to get off/on the loom bench. Let me show you.

I had a skinny person reenact for our benefit. You know I'm short; the big loom's breast beam and bench are high. So, every time I have to get off the loom, I swing my right leg like a pendulum. Which happens a lot when your warp ends keep breaking. That's it. Jean said I have to alternate my legs when I get off, but I'm a bit scared to try that just now.

Monday was a bad day. (Here come the funny old-lady bits.) We ran out of milk after breakfast so I managed to get some before I saw Jean and put it in the car for Ben to bring home. I also got two plates; I got two a week ago Wednesday and promptly dropped one on Friday, and since buy-one-get-one-free was still on I got two in case I broke another. I remembered the bus schedule incorrectly, missed one, ran errands and loaded the pack too much before the next and hips and legs started to hurt. I thought I saw the taxi office had moved, so I went to one end of the town, saw a big sign but not the office, so I went to the old office nearly across our little town which is now a shop, couldn't for the life of me find their number on my cell, walked back to the sign and rang the number. It turns out the office is just upstairs. I staggered home shortly before one, I was exhausted, and there was no milk for a nice cup of tea. I was exhausted until late Wednesday afternoon when Sam and Annabelle came over to work out some more admin stuff for our exhibition.

Sam brought me three lovely pumpkins from her garden. Just Tuesday, I made the best humus ever, half of which was baked pumpkin. So now I'm thinking pumpkin bread or cake, in addition to the usual baked. And last week, I made the best banana cake ever. You could say this not-being-sick is working.

Today I tried to make a poster/invitation for our exhibition, but the weather, ergo the light, was so changeable I could not get descent pictures of our drawings after a whole afternoon. When I photograph drawings, however, I see completely different things from when I'm looking at them. Sam has delicate but refined work in a variety of styles; Annabelle has always drawn feminine figures, not willowy, but mother-of-earth types, and her work is interesting to spend look at.

I haven't gardened, I haven't exercised, and I keep tidying, cleaning and reshuffling my drawing kit but have done only one uninspired practice exactly a week ago that promptly went into the fire. Fingers crossed; tomorrow.  

And the weird; the biga/chef/levain/sourdough. And how little I know about it. Keeping a biga is like keeping a pet, but it's an invisible, tempestuous one. I put the food out, it disappears at different rate, and the darned thing likes to play dead.

In the past, I only followed recipes using regular flour; I knew [insert-your-favorite-word] took 36-48 hours in this house rather than the 12 in the book, but otherwise they've always worked. After reading the health benefits of slowly-raised dough recently, I decided to start a [i-y-f-w] to keep and use, without a recipe in mind, and because the first instructions I read used rye and wholemeal, so did I. These take longer, and the whole country had a "polar blast", so I got quite flummoxed and kept checking all kinds of websites instead of sticking to the one. Today we had normal temperatures and I fed it regular flour and a little bit of sugar and yeast and it looks back on track, but now I have so much I will have to use some tomorrow.

Such fun.

My Shrinking Life

On Wednesday I spent the day in town. Which is not something I do much these days, but the drawing exhibition team couldn't meet at my place, so I went into town in the morning to run some errands before we met. In between twice being told, "we can't do this here, but you can go online and take care of it yourself," (I don't imagine this goes down well with older or less-well-connected folks; even in Little Old Nelson, face-to-face customer service now takes a backseat to the Internet,) I got to talk to Stella about her next project at the bookshop, which is always a treat.

Then I noticed a woman who looked so like Maclean and I was going mention it, but Stella got too busy serving customers. So I turned around, and imagine my surprise when I saw Maclean standing there, in person! She is in town for a week and I was in the bookshop just when she stopped by; I couldn't believe my luck. We talked about unintentional/unstructured making and simplifying. Ben and I had lunch at a new-to-us Mexican cantina, and the meeting with Annabelle and Sam went well; we were able to decide much in a short time because they had places to go.

I avoided looking into shop windows lest I see my own reflection, or worse, that I wouldn't recognize myself. All day I was aware I was walking funnily; presumably it's that old person's way of swinging from left to right without bending hips or knees. And living and operating this body, I felt a very different person; older, sure, but smaller, less significant, not someone with a "serious" mission in life. A pale shadow of my former self. And I remembered at one time I used to be a strutter and a fast-walker.

As expected, I've been exhausted since I got home Wednesday night. I haven't gotten any work done. On Thursday, I tackled some housework and a bit of cooking, but Friday all I could manage was to throw out my second or third failed sourdough and start another. And a few postcards.

I want to weave, but I have that problematic cashmere warp on the big loom and I'm reluctant to return to it. Once last week I "wove" for a couple of hours; in fact I was getting off and on the loom bench mending broken warps and for two days my right hip was zinging. I'm reluctant to start thinking beyond this project at the moment or else I'll be too tempted to cut and abort. I have good ideas about drawing, but every time I experiment/practice, they turn out boring or childlike or just really boring.

Even before Wednesday, I gardened four-plus hours each morning, which would have allowed me to do something else afterwards even a couple of years ago, this week I just liked down where I could find a flat surface on the floor and recuperated for hours.

I can't find the mojo/motivation/inspiration/stamina/energy/reasons-to-be-optimistic; I have ideas but I can't act on them. Or it takes so long to do one thing, and usually badly. Or I am so tired, I have to have lots of very long breaks. Life isn't fun, and I feel I'm not contributing anything. I can do so much less in the same 24 hours/7 days/whatever. Most days I sit still, (I know, I should move,) and wait to find a way out of this hole. Mom, even though she's living a hither-to unknown carefree life, and Sister, who is not yet 50, are having low-energy lives. Perhaps this is what we cold expect one year after Dad's passing, unless we have pressing, everyday duties. Like "real" work.

And I'm sick of thinking of what I'm not doing, how my life sucks right now. 

Yikes. Eh.

Still, I'm not depressed, I don't think, and my life isn't unravelling. And I finally looked up to find my failed starter sourdough were too watery; the current one is looking good so far; I hope it works. (I've done this several times always in the winter successfully, but for the first time I tried doing it from memory. Meh.) This must be what's called real life.

Pics?

Detours

A while back, a mate of mine had his favorite wooly scarf stolen. We've never met; he's one of our Internet/photography friends, but he's coming to visit in June/July. From his description the stolen piece sounds like a lovely chunky hand-knit piece, creamy/beige-y and ribby. I told him then I don't knit, and weave mostly flat cloth, but this was roughly when Geodyne was churning out beautiful pleated pieces, so I've been plotting to give it a go. I remember I need closely-sett two-faced twill using good shrinky weft. And as a contingency plan, in case the shrinky bits don't shrink/buckle/rib enough/properly, I'm going with a interesting twill at least in one part.

In theory, something like this, and an 8 meter warp should give me loads of samples and perhaps two good pieces.

Is usually-18EPI warp in 20EPI close enough or would you go closer? At present, I think I'd like different width for the two twills/ribs, but is there an optimal ratio?   What other matters should I take into consideration? Suggestions are all much appreciated. Thanks.

* * * * *

I had more of less a yuck week last week. I wove for two hours on extremely fragile warp, getting off and on the bench too too many times, and sure enough my right hip, which I thought was on the mend, acted up again, and the rest of it came back. So yesterday I did some collage postcards. It had been a while; I almost had to remember how to work without intentions and some made themselves beautiful while some not, but it was lovely to forget results and concentrate on the making. I also caught myself applying design theories I've picked up in the past.

I feel buoyed by yesterday, so I'm going to do some more sample/experimental drawing.

Funny how I enjoy something, (collage), but when I start making it into/about something, (exhibition), all the fun goes out and the Critic stomps in.  

Working, Working

Rain, sun, rain, sun, it's been a crazy couple of days. At one point, I had rain on one side of my house, but not on the other, which makes my house sound huge, but it's not. And the ground is soggy, spongy in some places. So I stayed inside working on the design study; I'm behind my own schedule for the year, but I did finish a chapter. For the time being; I may revisit some exercises later.

Because of the weird weather, I kept modifying the lighting but it was no good so these photos are heavily edited

"Framing" makes a piece of work tidy and handy, but sometimes loosing the outside bits take away movement or excitement or the feeling of modern/contemporary. 

See what I mean?

I like this, though it looks like Special K packaging.

Often ones I don't like look good in multiple orientations and even appear to have a hidden story.

I don't like this one, but it's very interesting.

While ones I like, I tend to rush into deciding the "right way up" and don't find any stories.

We did these tiles in Clare Plug's class, too. I like these.

Sunset yesterday; steady rain, glittery sun, dirty window.

So I'm Technically Weak

Well, that's not news to us, is it? India/Not-Laharya, the last three, and the current five-grays warps were cashmere or cashmere mixes and I've had technical problems left, right and center. I wonder if the big loom is too harsh on cashmere yarns, some of which are not twisted much so they stretch and then snap.

I like to weave my Japanese cashmeres at 15EPI for a good balance of softness and presence, but on the big loom I sett the warp at 18EPI so the shuttle doesn't fall though the gap; my preference is to weave with Schacht end feed but for the last red-purple-blue warp I used a small Swedish boat shuttle with my recycled paper bobbins, sett 15EPI. The finished texture was lovely. 

Doni's cashmere/silk/merino is a little less delicate in the yarn, (but boy, does it fluff up nicely!) but at 24EPI the warp ends appeared to be rubbing against each other and I had a lot of broken ends, so in the second red warp I changed to 21EPI, and at first I kept looking the shuttle. The finished textures were different but both good, and if I can mange, I'd like to weave with both setts depending on the draft and the weft.

I have had so many broken ends on the left side facing the warp, so much so I started to wonder if there are rough/jagged/sharp bits somewhere on the left side. The left side of a warp is usually the last ends I wind on the mill, so perhaps as I create a rhythm and start to loosen up. Perhaps the center of the warp chain is not perpendicular to the loom as I wind, and magazines fall off the left side first, though I've always been extra vigilant in that department. 

And then this one is hard to put into words. I almost took photos while weaving the pink piece but I was too embarrassed. Anyway, I get nice big sheds in the big loom and I always use floating selvedges. Depending on the sett, yarn, the number of ends in the slot next to the FS in the reed, and the draft, I get big loopy wefts ballooning on the sides. And because it happens sporadically, I can't figure out how to prevent them other than slowing right down and checking every single pick and pulling the sides in if necessary. A little bit of ballooning is not an issue if I'm using good merino in the weft, but cashmeres and merino/mohair mixes are ruthless. Strangely, I don't have this problem with my cottons but they are a different genre.And it was particularly bad on the pink piece in the last pic yesterday.

And I'm really really bad at hemming, so I'm going to stick with fringing until I resolve the other issues.

Soooooo, I haven't felt like a descent weaver in a few months now. I don't like putting hohum pieces in the gallery, and all but one had varying degrees of hohumness this time. I hate being a weaver like that. 

* * * * *

Second time in the garden in 24 days; I've wasted a lot of gorgeous autumnal days, but then I'm happy I can think of 24 days as long in not gardening. I keep records of the time I spent and what I did, because that's the only way I can remember how I've done. It's still a long way to being able to see any results, and I'm talking about only one tiny section of the property. But today was lovely, I had hoped to weed just beyond the patio, but I never got there because the patio was a mess with dead leaves and weeds in pots, so for four hours I cleaned and weeded the pots and moved them from the summer position to the winter position, i.e. allowing maximum sun. I'll get to just beyond the patio tomorrow. Afterwards a kingfisher came to visit. He's not flighty like some other birds and hung out with me over fifteen minutes. What a treat! (Please excuse the dead bits I haven't pruned. In fact, I can't get over how OK my place looks in this picture, because it's been really chaotic for over a year now.)

No weaving, no art, not even baking a cake Ben requested today. And I'm hoping to get out in the garden again tomorrow.