As you know, I was originally scheduled to go home on Friday but gave myself 12 extra days here; I now leave in 11 days. Which has come to mean I will probably have 11 days left with my Dad in his lifetime. And goodness me, I'd been objective/detached about death in general all my life, it has been thus in my family as long as I can remember, but I'm not ready for him to go. And yet I don't want this stage to last too long, as the quality of his life is, for me and Mom, unfathomably low. It doesn't mean I'm doing anything much differently; &deity knows I'm not talking to him about anything important/emotional. I keep focusing on things I can do around the house to relieve work in the short-to-mid term, because that's easier. He doesn't (always) help in being approachable, either.
It's been surprisingly turbulent.
I have felt as though I've been shoving my version of kindness down Mom's throat, and we even started picking on each other, but here, too, I try to focus on the tasks at hand. In a couple of instances, she thought I was being a Royal Pain but in the end these were jobs that needed to be done for decades and I know Mom feels better for having them gotten out of the way without too much involvement. We need to stop taking snipes at each other.
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Mom's red cushions have been completed and much admired.