Why Do I Love to Weave?

My physiotherapist Aramoana asked me why I love to weave. I had never thought about this, but I heard myself tell her, "I get an adrenaline rush," and then, "When I'm weaving, I have to pay attention to so many things, I really have to concentrate."

I have never been a here-and-now person. I measure my life in terms of: "When I finish xxx...", "When I go to yyy...", and my recent favorite, "When I get enough money to buy zzz..." I have always had visions/goals and multiple To Do lists to help me get there, because I was told, "If you don't know where you're going, you will never get there."

However, as I get older, I've become wary these mad dashes hasn't got me where I thought I might be about now, and I don't want my legacy to be a pile of half-crossed To Do lists. But how do I function without them? How do I stop the note-to-self voices in my head? How can I enjoy the moment, instead of turning it into another stop to somewhere else?

When I weave, I watch the tension, the pick, the selvedge, and the amount of yarn left on the pirn or bobbin. I watch my posture (weavers' upper body rock back and forth), the feet (we 'walk', that is, use the left and the right feet alternatively to press the treadles or the foot pedals), the part of the beater I grab (ideally the centre) and whether the lighting is on the correct spot.

And the more I weave, and supposedly the more I improve, the more I notice things, so I cannot concentrate any less. I do listen to music and books on tapes, but I am focused, and when I am weaving, fringing, beading, washing, I cannot think beyond the very process I am engaged in at that very moment.

And I'm seriously enjoying the moment.