Get a Life!!

I got two things in the mail yesterday: one was a statement of how much I can expect to be paid from the Red this month; the other was the accountant's bill. Needless to say, I, and the Red , must sell many, many, many scarves and shawls just to pay my accountancy bill.

I couldn't sleep a wink last night. I've been worried about money for about five years, and I work in an office part time to supplement the income in 2004: I hated the job, I was no good at the job, and even though I only worked in the afternoons, I was far from being a productive weaver in the mornings. So once again, I've been wondering if I should chuck all this in and get a job.

It also has to do with the fact that I'm looking at my own half-century this time next year, and if we would have continued to live and work in Japan, we would have had some amount saved up for our old age, because, well, that's what you do over there.

But the long and the short of it is I cringe at the idea of going back to an office job, (unless it's very part time or very temporary with people I already know and like: any offers?) because I tend to get very absorbed in whatever job I have and when I work in an office, that becomes my life; I can't combine that with other creative activity very well. The only alternative is to weave stuff that sells. And for me, for now, it's the small cashmere scarves for the Red that's a seller.

I need to hanker down and do a bit of "grunge" work as well as enjoying the creative process and be an artist and live the life of a kept woman; I need to bake bread as well as cake. And, hey, there are much worse grunge work than weaving tiny cashmere scarves. Once the warp is on, I'm going to have a good time anyway.

So, there, yeah, the short, chubby one!! You!! Get a life!!