Due to strange-headedness, vertigo, bad sitting arrangements and world news addiction, I've done no gardening this spring and summer; (in places the weeds were thigh-high but the summer wind and dryness killed some of the surface stuff last week,) no weaving, but some van Gogh reading and mixed media. I'm enjoying mixed media because they are immediate, but have started to struggle, too, because I've developed "intent" in some cases, and like weaving, I see much technical weakness that hinders my expression. I love building from scratch, especially collages with my painted paper, so I'm not coveting products, but the work takes more time. Like the way weavers used to talk on each other's blogs and offline, (perhaps some of you still do?) I so enjoy the frequent communication in group, both technical and mundane.
The multi-colored cashmere warp was straight-forward and painless, until I eventually got to wash them. OMG! Even though this time I made sure I used only 100% and not the silk/cashmere mix, and even though this product's shinkage differ depending on the color, there is no denying this is bad. After some time in purgatory, (both me and them,) the weaver's need for income won over integrity, and Husband was asked to deliver them to the Suter. And I tried not to think about them and I wasn't going to show them to you here.
In July, when the temporary Suter was closing and the whole lot moving to their old/new home, I went to say a temporary "bye" to Andrea, who said in the kindest, mildest way of joking, (I think, but didn't ask,) if I were still in a guild I'd be outski pronto. While I had hoped, to be honest, the color combos and softness/weight/hand still had some appeal to non-weavers. So I withdrew them.
I wasn't disappointed. I don't mind anything Andrea says; I often ask for her critique. It wasn't a sudden loss of confidence; I'm used my technical weaknesses. The feeling, which wasn't strong or at the forefront but perhaps always there, was, how many years/warps do I have to weave to get better, and/or have I passed my prime, didn't know it, and henceforth I'm going to weave rubbish only. Is/was my efforts worthwhile? I didn't think any of this, but the feeling gestated on its on.
I didn't make a conscious decision to stop weaving; I only threw myself into mixed media. I haven't even washed the five pieces I wove between April and July and I have a long-awaited warp for two commission pieces on the loom. Every week we Skyped Mom asked me if I'm giving up weaving and the honest answer was, I didn't know. And I was fine with that. And for a time I totally lost interest in textiles.
But then I met people and went to arty places and life looked like a little while ago and twice since August I saw textile-y dreams and the Suter sold two pieces in one month, so my thinking is heading back towards weaving. Plus, the next couple of months is going to be hot and my basement is cool. But I'll never apologize for the time and energy I spent on mixed media, and I'll never stop, even if it doesn't contribute to any un/subconscious design skills.