For a nearly a decade now, I'd lose sleep some nights because I thought the port was too noisy. Port of Nelson is known to operate forklifts and cranes overnight when they load/unload large ships; it's a common complaint. Except Trish, whose parents live overlooking the port, said my house is facing the wrong way so I shouldn't be hearing the port. Then a staff at my gym told me she used to live a few houses away from our place, but her husband couldn't sleep because of the noise from a saw mill a few km away, so for the last two years I blamed the saw mill. Except when we drive by the place on weekends, they are shut closed, and I wondered if they actually worked overnight some times. Then last Christmas Day, I could not shut down the noise and figured it couldn't be the saw mill. As well, in the last few years, when we were in the country where silence should have been deafening, (and it's easy to find places like that in New Zealand), I felt as if I brought the forklift on holiday with us.
About a month ago, I was complaining about this to Nancy, and she thought I might have tinnitus. I had never heard of it until then, but once I learned of this -itus, everywhere I looked people are talking/writing about it. So I signed up for a hearing test and had it done this morning, and found out I do indeed have tinnitus, and this is something that's largely inside my head, caused by age-related hair loss.
It's like this. Inside our inner ear, which is often depicted like a swirly seashell, is a thin tube filled with fluid, and there are tiny hairs growing on the inside of this tube. These hairs vibrate and tell the brain what we are hearing. (Ummm... can't remember what the ear drum does relative to the hairs, but the drum probably causes vibration of the fluid in the tube??) We loose the tiny hairs naturally as we grow older, and when gaps appear on the inside of the tube, sometimes the brain compensates by making up noises. It's like phantom pain of a severed limb. Here's a picture, but without any hair.
This is caused by physiological change, but can to a certain extent be reduced or ignored. The audiologist (Gill in pink) recommended that I play music or have the radio on at a low volume, but what I like the best is silence, which doesn't work very well. She laughed because for the last few months, on the odd mornings when I didn't hear the forklift, I got worried and listened for it, and almost felt relieved to find the annoying thing. Tinnitus goes hand in hand with depression, insomnia, anxiety, etc., so I've had the whole package.
I borrowed this machine that's supposed to create low-volume noises, just enough to make the forklift not dominate my nights, but she told me not to wear ear plugs, because they make me concentrate more of the darned thing. And from her reading, there has been no definitive food-noise link substantiated, but individual patients have found foods which trigger the noise. Said giving up caffeine seems to help a lot of people, so I could try that for three weeks if I so wished.
The good news is, we don't have to move house. The bad news is, I'm loosing hair in places I didn't even know I owned. And there is no hair-loss treatment for the inner ear.
Oh, and as to my hearing itself, nothing wrong with it; actually very good for my age group. Which means when Ben mumbles, which he does a lot, it's his problem, not mine.
2008/06/12
What Inspires Me
While I was away at the retreat, I also tried to get a little inspired by my surrounding. Marlborough Sounds is a beautiful place, especially the tiny inlets on crystal clear mornings or the surrounding hills overlapping and producing delicate gradation that look like your value study homework. Last weekend's weather was average, and I found the writers and their stories far more inspiring, to the point I was designing scarves that may look good on a character, or a ruana that may suit in a place in a story.I know artists the world over have been inspired by nature and their environment, and in New Zealand, this is a very important factor in art-making. And I do like the odd leaf or rock or the seascape, and I take copious amounts of sunset photos, but to be honest, I have to force myself to connect what I see there with what I make, and I feel like a fraud when friends say things like, "Oh, I see the waves."
Well, let me tell you that I get very inspired by architecture and people and voices and stories. I grew up in the city and I am still a city kid. So every once in a while I have to remind myself that it's OK if I don't hyperventilate at a bird or mountain, because I do get excited by a 2-inch human-interest story, or the voice of an former East European correspondent, for example, and start drawing on my sketchbook right away.
I'm sure I'll be reiterating this point again, as I have to keep reminding myself.
(By the way, the subject in this photo was one of the two non-writing participants at the workshop, so I think I'm supposed to declare the photo and the post are not related, or something...)
On Prices
So, at the Writers' Retreat, where I tried to convert the angry-old-lady energy into something creative, I started writing very short memoir/essay-ish bits. I thought I might as well turn the anger into therapy; Julia Cameron says I can, so it must be true. And to some extent, it worked; once I started to write, I was trying to remember specific incidents, places and people that I became absorbed in the act of writing, though the writing itself was crap because I was there were a lot of years and ages and otherwise important-only-to-me numbers. Of course better writers picked up on that during the critique; I delete cumbersome bits like in my fiction writing, and the numbers felt like stones in my shoe, too.
Another thing I discovered on the weekend had to do with Julia Cameron, too. In one of the weekly tasks, she had me write down 50 things I'm angry about. I hesitated, because I thought I'd remember a whole lot of things and get madder and madder, but anything The Artist's Way has made me do, at worst they weren't effective, but many were fun and sometimes even therapeutic, so I did. Woudlnt' you know, even the shortest-tempered-oft-hopping-mad person like I cannot easily come up with 50 things to be angry about. At around 29 I started to giggle, and about 37 onwards, it was a struggle to finish. The last two or three were very lame, or thing I've long gotten over, but I had to come up with 50, so I did.
The next morning, while I was trying to write my Morning Pages, (more on Julia Cameron/The Artist's Way vocab in another post soon-ish, I promise,) Ben turned the TV on and settled on the TV One news. We don't have a TV in our bedroom at home, and we don't watch the news in the morning, we listen to National Radio, and if that's not enough, the host of the morning news show on TV One is a most irritating man. So I waited for Ben to flip the channel, and he didn't, and it was loud, and I was getting more and more irritated, so I stop the stream-of-consciousness writing and started a list of 50 things I hate about Ben, and you know what, it worked! By Item 17 I was making excuses for him, and by Item 33, I was saying out loud, "Yeah, but it was a that one time," or "But he hasn't done this in a while," or "OK, this is the same as Item 7". I was laughing so hard and had to repeat a few things to finish all 50.
If you have a temper half as hot as mine, I do recommend this.
Oh, the prices. Well, I had four inquiries for scarves from fellow writers. They wanted a price list or a catalogue, which I don't have, so I promised everybody I'd email. To be honest, I feet embarrassed about discussing prices in person, (except my one-off big shawls; I got used to that.) And I can put in more details and possible alternatives in an email.
I've come to terms with not undercutting gallery prices, and I don't feel apologetic about the prices she put on my work. Jay Farnsworth is a gallery-owner in an old-fashioned way; she is a mentor to her artists and will give advice even with work not intended for the Red. I feel loyal to her and to our relationship. But I still have a hard time, sometimes, talking about them, face to face.
Some of what the writers wanted, however, were relatively simple and I panicked a little because ethically, as a person and as an ex-Catholic school girl, I should tell them, "That's really not my kind of weaving, and you should go to so-and-so who can probably do it for less." On the left shoulder, however, is Evil Meg giggling, "Oh, goodie, a 4-shaft twill; easy money."
I emailed each writer yesterday, describing my plans for each piece, stating two options (fiber contents) and prices, and asked to reply to me if they were happy with the prices. And so far I heard back from one, to go ahead.
It's not attractive talking about money, I know, but I don't know if this is something I'll ever come to terms with. How do you put a price on my handwoven scarf? I think I need an agent.
Another thing I discovered on the weekend had to do with Julia Cameron, too. In one of the weekly tasks, she had me write down 50 things I'm angry about. I hesitated, because I thought I'd remember a whole lot of things and get madder and madder, but anything The Artist's Way has made me do, at worst they weren't effective, but many were fun and sometimes even therapeutic, so I did. Woudlnt' you know, even the shortest-tempered-oft-hopping-mad person like I cannot easily come up with 50 things to be angry about. At around 29 I started to giggle, and about 37 onwards, it was a struggle to finish. The last two or three were very lame, or thing I've long gotten over, but I had to come up with 50, so I did.
The next morning, while I was trying to write my Morning Pages, (more on Julia Cameron/The Artist's Way vocab in another post soon-ish, I promise,) Ben turned the TV on and settled on the TV One news. We don't have a TV in our bedroom at home, and we don't watch the news in the morning, we listen to National Radio, and if that's not enough, the host of the morning news show on TV One is a most irritating man. So I waited for Ben to flip the channel, and he didn't, and it was loud, and I was getting more and more irritated, so I stop the stream-of-consciousness writing and started a list of 50 things I hate about Ben, and you know what, it worked! By Item 17 I was making excuses for him, and by Item 33, I was saying out loud, "Yeah, but it was a that one time," or "But he hasn't done this in a while," or "OK, this is the same as Item 7". I was laughing so hard and had to repeat a few things to finish all 50.
If you have a temper half as hot as mine, I do recommend this.
Oh, the prices. Well, I had four inquiries for scarves from fellow writers. They wanted a price list or a catalogue, which I don't have, so I promised everybody I'd email. To be honest, I feet embarrassed about discussing prices in person, (except my one-off big shawls; I got used to that.) And I can put in more details and possible alternatives in an email.
I've come to terms with not undercutting gallery prices, and I don't feel apologetic about the prices she put on my work. Jay Farnsworth is a gallery-owner in an old-fashioned way; she is a mentor to her artists and will give advice even with work not intended for the Red. I feel loyal to her and to our relationship. But I still have a hard time, sometimes, talking about them, face to face.
Some of what the writers wanted, however, were relatively simple and I panicked a little because ethically, as a person and as an ex-Catholic school girl, I should tell them, "That's really not my kind of weaving, and you should go to so-and-so who can probably do it for less." On the left shoulder, however, is Evil Meg giggling, "Oh, goodie, a 4-shaft twill; easy money."
I emailed each writer yesterday, describing my plans for each piece, stating two options (fiber contents) and prices, and asked to reply to me if they were happy with the prices. And so far I heard back from one, to go ahead.
It's not attractive talking about money, I know, but I don't know if this is something I'll ever come to terms with. How do you put a price on my handwoven scarf? I think I need an agent.
2008/06/11
RD Workshop Feedback?
I have it on good authority that the latest Penland lot was kind to Randy. I take it nobody ran after him as he walked away to seek a few seconds of quiet, yapped at his ankles a mile a minute, squeezing out every last ounce of whatever wisdom or blessing he could impart, or just to hear his voice. You are better persons than I.
If you have a blog or photo site where you are reflecting on or sharing your experience as Valerie has, please let me know. And if you don't have such a platform, but would like to impart your thoughts, or just to share incoherent delirium, please email me.
I was looking at Valerie's photos, particularly of the sample warps, and was struck how some of them look so much like the ones from our workshop. The first things I noticed were the colors, of course; similar warp colors seemed to produce strikingly similar samples from a distance. And where I could see some details, it seem quite a few of us tried similar things in making the color changes gradually.
Of course all this makes sense because we probably had similar (although ours could have been abridged, ours being a week-long course) principles explained in the lectures, but I'm still struck more by the similarity than individuality. So does this mean, while we learn and take in the RD philosophy, we first follow the "instructions" closely in a strikingly similar manner, and then as we start to make this new knowledge our own, we allow ourselves to interpret and show our individuality? Gosh, when I type it out like this, it sounds terribly "Duh!!". But I am still surprised at the sameness, from a distance.
I am struck by the bold yellow warp towards the right - that one is very different from others, not exactly along the lines of the instructions for the warp prep we received, but decidedly individual, clean and crisp. Gutsy stuff. If you were in New Zealand, you might have gotten a chocolate fish!
If you have a blog or photo site where you are reflecting on or sharing your experience as Valerie has, please let me know. And if you don't have such a platform, but would like to impart your thoughts, or just to share incoherent delirium, please email me.
I was looking at Valerie's photos, particularly of the sample warps, and was struck how some of them look so much like the ones from our workshop. The first things I noticed were the colors, of course; similar warp colors seemed to produce strikingly similar samples from a distance. And where I could see some details, it seem quite a few of us tried similar things in making the color changes gradually.
Of course all this makes sense because we probably had similar (although ours could have been abridged, ours being a week-long course) principles explained in the lectures, but I'm still struck more by the similarity than individuality. So does this mean, while we learn and take in the RD philosophy, we first follow the "instructions" closely in a strikingly similar manner, and then as we start to make this new knowledge our own, we allow ourselves to interpret and show our individuality? Gosh, when I type it out like this, it sounds terribly "Duh!!". But I am still surprised at the sameness, from a distance.
I am struck by the bold yellow warp towards the right - that one is very different from others, not exactly along the lines of the instructions for the warp prep we received, but decidedly individual, clean and crisp. Gutsy stuff. If you were in New Zealand, you might have gotten a chocolate fish!
2008/06/10
Sometimes I Kick Myself Really Hard
View Larger Map
"A" indicates the location of the Weavers Guild of Minnesota; it's there today, and it was there in 1977, when I started college, on Snelling and Hewitt, on this map the blue square near the number 51, an inch above Midway Market Place but below the railroad line. Lalla Jones, a sophomore and a diplomat's daughter who lived all over Africa in her childhood, used to ask me at least twice a week if I'd like to join her in weaving. She went at least that often, if not more, to weave, and she loved it.
I was into boys, booz and a little bit of books back then; I was interested in weaving, but not just then. Sometimes I think "if only...."; sometimes I think it's good I didn't because I might not have liked it then (I was terribly impatient) and might never have picked it up again.
I just had a few Minnesota-things pop up in my life lately, which made me look up where the Guild is for the first time. I knew it was somewhere on University, but now that I look at it, I must have passed it gazillion times because I used to go to the University's Wilson Library to study, or to Dinkytown to socialize, and for a year I lived in an apartment two blocks from Dinkytwon. I don't know if I'll go back to those days again if I were allowed to; Minnesota's winters were brutal. But it is one of the periods I look back and feel nostalgic.
Almost There
All the scarves received (except mine) have been hung and labeld. If you sent me files or links, you should have heard from me today; if not, please contact me. If you wove the scarf but but haven't gotten around to sending me the info, if you can manage in the next 24 hours, send them in, because I still have room.
I have to figure out why mine isn't uploading, but I'm a little tired and much too excited after handling all your scarves. So I'm turning off the light, locking the door, and going home for the night. The scarves are giddily awaiting the opening in the darkened gallery tonight.
(The poster used the very first entry I received, from La Crumpet of Minnesota.)
Santa Fe Weaving Gallery
Tapestry weaver Pat, who lives in Nelson, offered to take some of my scarves to Santa Fe Weaving Gallery when she visits there in July. From the looks of their web site, they appear to be a high-end gallery with lots of contemporary/art garments, and not just ordinary rectangles. But they seem to like Asian textiles, particularly Japanese, or is this just what's happening this month?
One of my dream goals from the very beginning has been to have an outlet in the US, so I'm jumping out of my skin with excitement, but I'm also very worried. Have you ever visited the gallery? Do you know what they like? Please help!
One of my dream goals from the very beginning has been to have an outlet in the US, so I'm jumping out of my skin with excitement, but I'm also very worried. Have you ever visited the gallery? Do you know what they like? Please help!
2008/06/09
And Here's Valerie
Valerie is back from Penland, and here's her Report; I hope this is the first of many. Then there's her Flickr link here.
To me, the yellow/orangy bits hanging form the white fence, on her blog post, is particularly evocative of how I remember my Randall Darwall experience. I'm very interested to see all the scarves in their entirety, with indication where you started and where you ended up, Valerie, to see the changes/progression over two weeks.
Thank you, Valerie, for such prompt posting. (Pant, pant!!) Anybody else out there who was in class with Valerie who blogs or has a Flickr-or-similar site? Or, would like to email me your impressions, thoughts, affirmations or unrecognizable dreamy babble, please do so; I'm keeping my inbox wide open!
To me, the yellow/orangy bits hanging form the white fence, on her blog post, is particularly evocative of how I remember my Randall Darwall experience. I'm very interested to see all the scarves in their entirety, with indication where you started and where you ended up, Valerie, to see the changes/progression over two weeks.
Thank you, Valerie, for such prompt posting. (Pant, pant!!) Anybody else out there who was in class with Valerie who blogs or has a Flickr-or-similar site? Or, would like to email me your impressions, thoughts, affirmations or unrecognizable dreamy babble, please do so; I'm keeping my inbox wide open!
Good Morning, Everybody
It's been June 9 for about 8 hours here, meaning, if my math is right, for the next 40 hours someone somewhere on earth will be living June 9th. Anyway, it's not a big deal if you are a day or so late, I decided; the more the merrier, so don't worry too much, but I had to tell you I am very excited about our exhibition.
Meanwhile, if you ever get a bit confused about my time/your time because of my confusion, this is where I go.
During the Writers' Retreat this weekend, I made some new friends, among them executive chef Marie of Marlborough Vintner's Hotel, who was writing non-recipe parts of a cookbook, (pure ear-candy, Ben and I put in two separate advance orders promptly; this is a fund-raiser project for the Marlborough Hospice in 2009), and a book binder from near Sydney, Carol, who has the Barnacle Goose Paperworks blog. I also met Deidre, who now lives in Marlborough but grew up in Northern Ireland, and who wrote about a most shocking, moving real life experience I've heard in the 13 years of going to Joan Rosier-Jones's workshops. This story, and more, will be published some time, somewhere, we're all very sure, so I'll keep you posted.
Meanwhile, if you ever get a bit confused about my time/your time because of my confusion, this is where I go.
During the Writers' Retreat this weekend, I made some new friends, among them executive chef Marie of Marlborough Vintner's Hotel, who was writing non-recipe parts of a cookbook, (pure ear-candy, Ben and I put in two separate advance orders promptly; this is a fund-raiser project for the Marlborough Hospice in 2009), and a book binder from near Sydney, Carol, who has the Barnacle Goose Paperworks blog. I also met Deidre, who now lives in Marlborough but grew up in Northern Ireland, and who wrote about a most shocking, moving real life experience I've heard in the 13 years of going to Joan Rosier-Jones's workshops. This story, and more, will be published some time, somewhere, we're all very sure, so I'll keep you posted.
2008/06/03
Reminder: Small Scarf Virtual Exhibition Submission
Dear friends, it's Tuesday over here, and your SSVE submission is due Monday your time, so I thought I'd post a reminder, for myself perhaps more than for you.
I amended the original Guideline a few times after I posted it, so if you are unsure, please check it once more.
If you are sending me a link to your blog rather than photo and blub files, please schedule to post it sometime during June 13 either your time or NZ time (UTC/GMT +12 hours), and please, if you can, plan to have it on the front page of your blog for at least two weeks. If you are posting your piece on your own blog, please remember to email me so you are included in the link, and so I can send you the same. If I have the time to make a small exhibition "poster", I will also be sending a JPG file of the poster which you may or may not choose to post.
I reply to everyone who has emailed me to acknowledge receipt of your information, and I've been checking my Gmail Spam folder as well, but if you have already contacted me, but have not heard back, please contact me again.
Entrants I have on my record so far are:
Bety Antonio, "Deep End of the Loom", Miami, Florida, USA, posting on your own blog
La Crumpet, Minnesota, USA, photos and blurb
Connie Rose, Eureka, California, photos and blurb
Rose Pelvin, Marlborough, New Zealand, photos and blurb
Betsy Frizzell, Marlborough, New Zealand, photos and blurb
Judy Bool, Marlborough, New Zealand, photos and blurb
Having said that, tomorrow noon-ish, Ben and I are off to my annual Writers' Retreat, and will return late Sunday, so if I miss your email before I go, you will hear from me on Monday June 9 or Tuesday June 10.
My SS is looking rather different from what I had planned, and though and I'm happy with it, I still want to make what I had in mind originally as well.
So, happy weaving/knitting/embellishing.
I amended the original Guideline a few times after I posted it, so if you are unsure, please check it once more.
If you are sending me a link to your blog rather than photo and blub files, please schedule to post it sometime during June 13 either your time or NZ time (UTC/GMT +12 hours), and please, if you can, plan to have it on the front page of your blog for at least two weeks. If you are posting your piece on your own blog, please remember to email me so you are included in the link, and so I can send you the same. If I have the time to make a small exhibition "poster", I will also be sending a JPG file of the poster which you may or may not choose to post.
I reply to everyone who has emailed me to acknowledge receipt of your information, and I've been checking my Gmail Spam folder as well, but if you have already contacted me, but have not heard back, please contact me again.
Entrants I have on my record so far are:
Bety Antonio, "Deep End of the Loom", Miami, Florida, USA, posting on your own blog
La Crumpet, Minnesota, USA, photos and blurb
Connie Rose, Eureka, California, photos and blurb
Rose Pelvin, Marlborough, New Zealand, photos and blurb
Betsy Frizzell, Marlborough, New Zealand, photos and blurb
Judy Bool, Marlborough, New Zealand, photos and blurb
Having said that, tomorrow noon-ish, Ben and I are off to my annual Writers' Retreat, and will return late Sunday, so if I miss your email before I go, you will hear from me on Monday June 9 or Tuesday June 10.
My SS is looking rather different from what I had planned, and though and I'm happy with it, I still want to make what I had in mind originally as well.
So, happy weaving/knitting/embellishing.
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