Just to clear the air and my mind, I misread Valerie's comment in my post about raising my game; I read "laughable" not "laudable", even though I went back and checked it half a dozen times before posting my rebuttal. I apologize to Valerie, and to everyone else who thought, "So what high horse is she on now?"
This is typical of what happens to me during a depressive episode, a bad patch, or whatever the correct term. On the one hand, I go deep inside my head though I don't notice it and can become paranoid and overwhelmed. One of the most daunting and tearful conversation at times like these is Ben asking me what I want for dinner because I can't get my head around such weighty considerations. On the other hand, I'm not bothered by the mundane, (the house goes to the pits!) and I do get a few Zen-like moments which help me see things clearly. I mean, meta-cloth? I'm too scatterbrained to come up with something like it in my usual state.
As well, I do so love to learn about how others think, see and work, and I'm not offended by your letting me know that you disagree with me, or that I'm way off kilter. OK, for a short time, I fuss and fume, but not at all offended in the long run. Disagreements and differences makes me try to see how you think, see and work, and force me to clarify my thoughts, and at the other end, I may completely change my way because yours is heaps better.
I make no secret of a life with depression, but as far as the problem goes, I'm at the lightest end of the spectrum, and I have a great doctor who is teaching me to spot the triggers and symptoms, and to learn coping mechanisms. And as I said, I benefit from it by being able to have uninterrupted thinking time. Joy!
So you have been warned; if I get far too conceptual, imagine me sitting on the smaller, blue couch in the living room, not fidgeting or moving at all for hours staring; Imay just be cooking up my next "serious" post for Unravelling.
On the other hand, if you all think I'm way off and too far gone, or just wrong, or if you know a better way, I'm setting you to task to put me right. Please. And thanks.