I also realized, this whole year, this side of preparing a bunch of questions for Kaz before going to Australia, I've not worried about anything external to me or my weaving.
This is not to say I'm happy/comfortable with my finished products, (remember all the broken cashmere warps, the pleats that didn't?) but I've had two intense weaving periods, at the start of the year up to drawing exhibition prep, and now, during when I have been focused on what and how I work and have not worried about much else. The noises in my head have really stopped and I'm not worried about new weaving books, trends/fashion, what everybody else is weaving, in the "I need to learn/catch-up/emulate" kind of way; I still maintain a high level of curiosity/interest in all of your work, what you are weaving, how, even why, but they have nothing to do with what I'm doing. I feel released from a whole list of "shoulds" and keep noticing how focused I am, when I do get around to noticing such things. This makes me happy. I don't know if it means I've finished or started being my own apprentice as suggested by Randy Darwall, but eight years on, I'm somewhere I wasn't before, and I'm going to call this progress.
The flip side of this has been my stash reduction projects; for ease, speed and a kind of return to basics, I've been trying to work on four shafts. To help me develop more interesting-to-me projects, I've been gazing at weaving books I bought early on, revisiting elements of weaving except many shafts. I don't apologize for my love for many, considering what I considered were the ultimate cloths as long as I can remember. But I used to know things which have either fallen by the wayside, or consider automatically, ergo unconsciously, I don't know if I know and I want to recall them. Doni's doing similar.
There may be more on these topics, or not; I don't feel compelled to reach any explainable conclusions; in fact, these will remain ongoing themes for the rest of my weaving life, I know. And/Or I'm lazy today because it's been so sunny and so hot even in our cold, dark house, and I'm tired for having gone into town to do our last food shopping. But other than milk and veg, we're good for the next fortnight.
the kumara refuses to die; in fact it demands to be put in the ground. I don't know if I can find soil deep enough without something special for this, but not today. The biggest leaves are about 3cm long.
EDIT: I forgot to tell you something interesting/strange. Many of you post pictures of yourselves on your blogs or FB page so I have some idea of what you look like, right? When I was in town today, even though Ben said there was only the usual level of crowd, I felt there were heaps more folks out shopping. And I kept seeing many of you, alone, with visitors, with kids, with shopping bags, sitting leisurely in cafes, rushing though the idles in the supermarket, or frantically looking for a place to park. It was actually great fun!