Wednesday, April 30, 2008

I'm Two

Two years ago today, I started blogging about my thoughts on weaving while feeling frustrated with a tendinitis on my right wrist and unable to weave.

I'd never seen a blog, didn't know there were non-political blogs, and had imagined something like Doogie Howser's electronic diary. (Remember that at the end of each episode?) Then, my best friend from high school, Liz, told me about her blog, and it was beautiful and fancy and spontaneous and wonderful and I had to get me one right away.

"Unravelling" started as my meditation, as it were; I was writing to myself to clear my head and move on to my next task/project/topic of meditation. My Japanese blog title can be translated to something like "Fabric Scraps, Loose Ends and Talking to Myself".

I had one reader in mind: me.

Then I started to make new friends and some of you left nice comments, and "Unravelling" became something of a platform to report what I've done, to share my thoughts, introduce weavers and information I found, and solicit help. Interaction makes the experience more personal and I felt a change in my tone: less article, more conversation. At times I felt I needed to watch what I say or be selective about the topics, but that changes the nature of my relationship with "Unravelling". So I go back and forth.

You know I'm under-tall and un-thin, cranky and 50, and though I love weaving, I find it terribly difficult to make the kind of cloth I'd be happy to put my name on . I get massive creative blocks and stay away from my looms for big chunks of time, then over-commit and work like a one-woman production line. And in between time, I get delightfully depressed, or I have to go away to relearn to play like a child.

I thought life was going to get easier when I grew up; either I haven't grown up yet, or I keep choosing difficult paths, or everybody is having a hard time but don't make a fuss. As long as I keep playing this game, though, of weaving, of blogging, and of growing up, I'm going to make sure I have fun.

That's all I've got tonight; the design thing is intriguing, but I've got to get back on that loom bench.

4 comments:

  1. happy blog birthday! I found a place to order the book btw, don't bother answering me :-).

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  2. Thanks, and, ummm... I already did anyway. You've got to show us what you do when you get yours.

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  3. I like your description of how you work which I tend to share. I am so so interested in so many types of weaving and artistic exploration that I tend to pour my creativity out in great blocks, followed by very frustrating build up again full of procrastination. I also found the book mentioned in your last post inspirational in that it promotes a 'keep working' approach regardless of the perfectly pleasing and thoroughly judged outcome.
    The work book you have photographed looks great. cutting up paper is so much fun.

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  4. In the creativity/inspiration books, or even in the cognitive behavioral therapy books, things like "shoulds" or "duty" is supposed to be bad. But I do wish I could be a little more consistent in my output. Now that I know some ideas need to gestate, I should be able to let them gestate whilst being productive, also, Kaz. So far it's often been all-or-nothing for me, unless there are deadlines looming. And I'd like to work tad more proactively.

    I just haven't found the balance.

    Today I bought some plastic erasers so I can carve them, but I thought I could stay with the cutting shapes forever!

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