Connecting with the World

I read this post by Connie, when I was supposed to be writing my morning pages. I read something exactly like this in JC's Walking in This World yesterday while minding Sue's gallery.

As I already admitted
, I find it harder to connect with "the earth", nature, trees, birds, and easier to appreciate people and their life stories and the things they make or do. I swing between discarding everything else and concentrating on making cloths that pleases me (though I won't deny that ideas come from without), and just chatting away, catching up with friends. These two me's don't talk to each other much, and sometimes I can't read myself.

Last night, I was up until 2AM looking at the StatCounter watching the hits to my SSVE post grow. It wasn't the numbers, but that the numbers were steadily climbing as I watched that thrilled me. In fact, all week I felt giddy as if I had 12 cups of good coffee intravenously; while hanging the scarves in the gallery, my senses were overly stimulated and I had a not-so-virtual headache. My general well-being was well, so I can only deduce it's the photos and the statements that did it. And then I couldn't wait for the big "get-together" and got more and more restless.

I told Connie, as regards my "making" relating to my "connecting; "I have to kick, scream and shout to 'make' something, and then I feel like the only person in a great big church, my voices (sic) bouncing off the walls, and people standing in the shadows whispering and discussing what to do with me." This morning I feel as if you all have filled this big cathedral and all our laughter is bouncing off the walls and the big dome. I feel connected.

As to deconstruction, ummm.... I'm a newbie, I'm still trying to construct things well, so I'll give it a miss for the time being.

* * *

The second song we played at our wedding was "Maria". Thought it might be pertinent.


Peg in South Carolina said...

Have you thought about teaching? Giving workshops? These would connect you both with making and with people. Perhaps there are other things as well that would do that? I, by the way, am just the opposite (grin!)

Meg said...

Yeah, big grin, Peg. No, I haven't thought of teaching, or rather, I have thought of never teaching.

When I used to teach languages, I averaged 10-20 hours preparations for every hour I taught, and found it exhausting. Coming from a family of teachers, I've been critical of teachers I've had, and have even more of a perfectionism-fetish thing going on, and after the second last stint, I decided it wasn't for me. (The last stint was only for a week, so it was ok.)

As for teaching weaving, my weaving is so haphazard I do certain things in secret, so I'll never feel OK about teaching weaving.

Besides, I find I'm much too old-fashioned when it comes to teacher-student relationships; I'm a slave drive; I expect to be heard, not interrupted; and I expect homework to be completed. Also reminds me it's a good thing I played around with the idea of becoming a librarian for a short while. I can be such a Nazi, Peg; I can't shake the way we were brought up at home or at my convent school.