And Yet Optemistic.

Issues surrounding the textile show really gets me down, and I suspect it has something to do with my relationship with my in-laws, or Ben's with his own family. I'm anxious about the work being done in my house, and I can't wait for it to be finished.

And yet, and yet, I've felt helplessly and helplessly optimistic about my 2009. I've no good reason to think that, nor know how or why the year is going to be so fantastic, but I feel it. And I usually see how things are going to turn out, however far off my pictures turn out to be, but in this case, I don't really have a good picture. Yet.

Lynne's this post liberated my head, and Connie's this post furthered my good mood. I know part of it must mean I'm really on the mend from nearly six years of mild-to-moderate depression. Work-wise I haven't committed to anything this year, except to a few commission I got last year, and to catch up with everything I've committed myself in the last... five years or so.

I don't see a picture of me getting into challenging exhibitions, not suddenly starting to sell more pieces, or more expensive pieces, at any of my venues. Rather, I feel myself sitting in the organized-and-spruced-up "design room", feeling enthusiastic and content, though I can't even see how I'm going to tidy the stash room.

It's been so long since I've felt this general uplifted-ness, and I'm holding on to it like there's no tomorrow. I want to believe in self-fulfilled prophecy.

And there's something so attractive about a big cloth covering everything in my living room. It's the biggest tarpaulin we found at the DYI store, bigger than what we needed, but I know we'll get good use from it. Have I crawled under it just to have a look? You bet!!


  1. Optimism is the most fabulous feeling. To the continuation and realisation of it!

  2. Isn't it just!! Yeah, here's to feeling great!

  3. It's nice to hear that your mood is picking up - I know you mentioned it the other day. It's hard to imagine, when I am a pretty 'up' person, how it must feel to be down or slightly down a good part of the time.

    Whatever has sparked your optimism, long may it live!! Look forward to enjoying some of your 2009 with you =)


  4. Ta, Kath. I used to be always like this before 2003. Now it feels almost too foreign.


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