I've been in a good place, a place without a lot of words or noise in my head, (the right ear is ringing worse than ever, but that's a separate issue), the kind of place I try so hard to get to from time to time. And I'm not depressed.
I was in a bubble in January, wintery Tokyo trying to clean my in-laws' apartment, sight-seeing a foreign place, and in Yokohama watching my parents as they really are, frail and old and, Dad in particular, without any hopes, dreams or aspirations for the future, not even tiny ones. I spent a lot of time doing housework there, too, just to give Mom a break.
We didn't do nearly as much textile-related things as we wanted, but we grabbed a few minutes here and there and showed-and-told what we've done recently. And we put one multi-colored cashmere warp for two scarves. We used around a dozen "spring" colors, and their placement was more or less spontaneous. Well, we were talking so much it turned out rather unsatisfactory, in that the left half was beautifully random but the right half more or less regular. So the first piece I wove in plain weave and added/subtracted supplementary warps and then played with their ends sewing them in in all directions, making them a visible design element. You'd be so proud of me, even Mom was very surprised at my new attitude. Unfortunately I didn't photograph it because I intended to bring it home and I forgot. Maybe later. For the second piece, I unwound the warp (by then, only 2 meters-plus left), added a few to make the right half look less even and for the overall piece to look a little spiffier, and we started weaving it with a thicker weft in 2/2 twill. Mom will finish it and this one will be hers.
Coming back to the present, when I'm in this place, it's much easier to think about what I want to do next in terms of work, not what's logical or what my schedule dictates. But even the thought of finishing unfinished projects (of which there are so many!) isn't daunting or bothersome. In fact, I'm going to live a seriously "preposterous" year in 2009 taking on as little responsibilities and commitments as possible. It will be an input year in as much as I will concentrate on learning and trying new things, and as a result if I get a few nice pieces made, great; if not, that's ok, too.
I'm feeling content and laid back. Maybe even playful. I'm pleased with my outlook for 2009, and still somehow I suspect/hope(?) I will get many of the things I said I'd like to do done. For now, I can't even be bothered rereading it.