Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Disappointed

At the risk of sounding self-centered and petty, if I left it at "I'm feeling content," I admit I'm not being entirely honest.

I feel terribly disappointed I couldn't put something in Lloyd's Awards, particularly because I had this for-me avant-garde idea. The colorful warp is hanging on the big loom and I'm almost reduced to tears every time I have to walk by it, so I covered the whole loom with a big sheet. I try not to dwell on it, but the opening is in 10 days, and Lloyd told me they had great responses and astonishing entries, but at this point, I don't know if I can bring myself to go see them. I have a difficult time trying to keep a straight face talking about the Awards with Lloyd or anyone else.

Because of the economic downturn, he couldn't tell if this can be turned into an annual event, or a biennial one, and worries he won't get the level of sponsorship from the two councils (municipal bodies) again, although there is apparently some hope for smaller private sponsorships.

I need to come to terms with this. And when the time comes, I will go ahead and weave and finish the project, so I can have it waiting for a suitable competition/exhibition.

I just have to get over myself first.

2 comments:

  1. Oftentimes, just having the deadline of a show to enter can be the impetus to do something new, regardless of whether one actually enters the show or not. There'll be other shows, as you know. Weave the piece anyway, and enter it elsewhere!

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  2. I've never missed an exhibition/competition thus far, even though stuff I submitted weren't exactly what I had intended. And there's a history of Ben's family emergencies disrupting our lives; they were genuine emergencies so they couldn't be helped, but I am disgruntled because they've forced us to cancel a few big things in our lives, though not that big in the whole scheme of things.

    Like I said, Connie, I have to get over myself.

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